Emmental cheese.
Not many of you have heard of this, but you’ve definitely had some variety of it before. It was first produced in Emmental, Switzerland. While this does not immediately make it “Swiss” cheese for all of you, *pompous sniff* unrefined Americans, it is in fact, what is widely known as Swiss cheese. Yellow, medium-hard cheese, with lots of holes.
But here’s the thing – cheese isn’t supposed to have holes. The reason for “hole-y” Swiss cheese is a negligence of the Emmental cheesemaking process. Holes occur when one of the three varieties of bacteria used in the cheese emits carbon dioxide, enough CO2 to form a bubble. Traditionally the cheese is meant to be pressed to remove the holes, as they’re considered poor work. BUT NOT ANY MORE.
And that brings us to our word of the day: skeuomorph. A thing that serves no functional purpose but is comfortable or old, and therefore paramount in the archetypal form of said object. “Analog” clocks on a computer, or hubcaps. OR HOLES IN MY CHEESE. Fuck you society, less cheese per sandwich was a TERRIBLE IDEA WHO DID THIS I NEED TO KILL THEM WITH A TIME MACHINE
So yes. Emmental cheese is amaaaaazing~
Escape! Escape! 
Jul 12, 2014 @ 11:21:22
I AM SO GLAD YOU FOUND THIS WORD.
Jul 12, 2014 @ 12:47:14
Jah, because NOBODY WOULD KNOW IT. Hell, both of us forgot. Google keywords that refound it: functionally useless. Obsolete, pointless, and outdated did nothing…
Jul 13, 2014 @ 05:39:50
Skeuomorph. What an amazing word. The concept is funny. A useless attribute of something that essentially characterizes it. No one (in my entire almost 60 years of life and education) has ever used this word. And you found it to write about cheese. I’m going to love those holes now that I know.
Jul 13, 2014 @ 11:04:43
If the word exists it’s a sin to sink to something lesser. Of course, the post is littered with “awesome” and “fucking” as an adjective…so I’m a terrible sesquipedalian. I guess it’s because of a few key friends and teachers, but the disappearance of language scares me. Think about it, the english language used to be one of the largest in the world, but our vocabulary has diminished…like, a lot. If we have a word that is more fitting than another, shouldn’t we strive to use it? Skeuomorph is just one of those crazy words pulled from a dictionary that seemed to stick. I’ve had this post on a three-month hiatus because I couldn’t find the word – I promised myself I wouldn’t post it unless I did.
That said, yes, it’s quite a silly word! But as you put it, also strangely essential. Without it, how could we talk about said holes and not be telling their full story?
Jul 13, 2014 @ 15:32:35
Reblogged this on Chat Room and commented:
Everyone deserves to know this. Thank you good sir.